Maria Alexandria

I change mood a lot I guess. I can change from happy to depressed to happy again, and I’m sick of it. I’ve had some depressions lately, but nothing big. I just feel.. empty? I don’t like to show it though, I guess I’m pretty good at hiding it as well.

I miss what we used to have. I miss the days when nothing meant anything.

I see you fading away from us,
I'll miss you very much.
Room with empty bottles, broken dreams,
and pride still running high, always on your side.

But I wanted more for you.
You can't go on this way.
And now I see it all fall through.
We pray for better days.
Stuck alone and scared.
Throw your life away and now choking on your pride may be the only way.

I don't want to see you like this.
We all tried to save you but missed.
I still feel the hope on your road.
Now come back to us like the days of the old.
I still feel you there, trying to get on top.
You'll always have my support, in my heart.
People you've hurt.
Friends that you've lied to.
But we understand, and thats not you can see the end of the road,
I can see it too, for you, I'm scared, if I lose you, I'm not prepared.
This time, if you die.
I watch you, right before my eyes.
Just trust me, and listen.
You have no self control.
This will take your life.

Overdose and then indulge until you die.
Pondering, we all ask the question why.
Broken home, and then abandoned by your dad.
And we are left the only family that you've ever had.

Overdose and then indulge until you die.
Pondering, we all ask the question why.
Broken home, and then abandoned by your dad.
And we are left the only family that you've ever had.

But I wanted more for you.
You can't go on this way.
And now I see it all fall through.
We pray for better days.
Stuck alone and scared.
Throw your life away and now choking on your pride may be the only way.

Help you see it through.
Fight this me and you.
Reaching deep inside.
Problems not just you is what we find.
Our friendship makes it mine.

She looked down on the almost lifeless man that was lying on the floor. Some smoke came out of the gun she had in her hand. His body were shaking, his life was hanging in a small tread between life and death.

“Why?” His voice was weak. Blood was starting to stream out of his chest and it quickly became more and more. “Why me?”

“Why you?” She looked down at him, as if he was an insect. Her eyes were looking straight in his. The poor guy weren’t more than 21 years old. “Couse I got my orders to kill you”

He looked up at her with confusion. After his father had died he’d become the owner of some of the biggest in the finance marked in London. His breath became weaker and he felt the taste of blood in his mouth. The room became darker and darker, and soon there was only a lifeless body lying there.

She got down on her knees and closed his eyes with her fingers. She’d once been a normal girl. A normal girl with lots of friends, but everything changed after she’d finished her graduation. Now she was one of the best agents in the European mafia.

She quickly got her gun and hided it in her bag. She took a last look at the boy and went out of the big and modern apartment he used to live in. Of course she’d moved all kinds of marks that would lead the investigation of the murder to her, she wasn’t that stupid.

A black car slowly drove in the gate to a small apartment in the central London. She walked up to the door and turned the keys in the lock. The apartment wasn’t big, but not small either; a small living room, a bedroom, a small kitchen and a bathroom, just enough for her.

She turned on a small light so she could see something. The sun had gone down hours ago, and she could barely see the moon behind some clouds at the sky. A black and white cat came slowly out of the living room. You wouldn’t believe a person like her would have any love for pet’s but she did have a cat that she’d found on the street some weeks ago.

She went over to the bedroom window and closed it. Though it was almost summer outside, it was cold in the night. She hadn’t prepared for any mission this night, but her sources had told her that the guy would leave the country the next day, and by then it would be too late.

She felt tiredness in her body and went over to the bed and sat down. She didn’t bother change clothes, she’d change them in the morning. Soon, her eyes went heavy and she lied down with her head on the pillow. Soon she was sleeping, dreaming of a normal life.

A irritating sound came out of a small speaker on the top of a clock that was standing on the small table by her bed. She opened her eyes and looked at it. It was 9:30 and she had to get ready for the part time job she had at the small café ten minutes from her apartment.

She hit the button and the awful voice went off. Her body wanted to sleep some longer but she managed to force it out of the bed. The warm water from the shower streamed down her back. It felt refreshing to her pale skin. She turned of the water and got one of the towels around her.

She loved that sound, the sound of a car engine starting. She slowly drove out of the gate and out to a small, old, road. After a good 30 minutes she finally came out on the busy highway into London. She knew that the gun she’d used the night before was lying underneath the passenger seat. 

The café was small and unknown. That’s why it was so wonderful to work there, couse there would never be any stressing days, though she didn’t really earn that much money. Some old people would sit and eat lunch, maybe some totally random people would come for a cup of coffee.

The bell over the door made a small sound. She quickly looked up from the newspaper, out of curiosity, only human. A group of young men had just gone trough the door, and sat down by a table, centered in the middle of the café. They were all dark clothed and didn’t look like they gave a damn about it.

“Do you want to order something?” She stood next to the table with the guys that’d just gone inside. An embarrassing silence gathered around them.

“I want coffee” one of them eventually said. “Haha, fuck Gates, you’re gonna have coffee?” the long one of them said. “Fuck you, you have anything against that?” the guy named Gates said back to the tall person.

“Ooook, so 1 coffee. Anything else?” She asked and looked at them. “I guess we’ll all take coffee” the tall one said eventually. “Fuck Rev, and you were whining about me ordering coffee?” Gates literally spat in the tall’s face.

Great.

The bus moves up the street. He's sitting in the back, resting his head against the glass. He is tired. The bus stops. A car tries to pass by. A girl is looking up at him. Their eyes crash, the world stops. Everything stops for a second or two, but then it's all back to normal, the bus moves on, the car the other way.

There's a funny thing called love at first sight.

If time can break us down
And not keep us around
I wont wait
I wont mind
Not this time
I've started up the clocks
It's time I left behind
And everything we've lost, disappears
I'm calling, I'm calling out
For answers on the long walk home
I've started up the race
It's something I cant change
I'm calling, I'm calling out
For answers on the long walk hole
And now we're not the same
I'm running past the words
To finish up the faults
Cant come back
I wont wait
Wont live like that
I've started up the clocks
It's time I left behind
And everything we've lost, disappears
I'm calling, I'm calling out
For answers on the long walk home
I've started up the race
It's something I cant change
I'm calling, I'm calling out
For answers on the long walk home
And now we're not the same
I'll find myself once more again
I've started up the race
I'll find myself once more again
It's something I cant change
And now we're not the same
I cant help by myself again

More shit for you too steal!!!

Random questions:

1. What is your happiest moment of life so far?
Hm, I guess meeting my favorite band; Avenged Sevenfold, and talking to them.

2. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I’d make myself thinner.

3. Who would be the first one you’d called if you won 1 Million dollars?
I guess my parents or closest friends.

4. What is your biggest fear?
I’m really scared of heights. A bit of dark too, because I always feel like there’s something there..

5. Who would be the last person you’d want to get stuck in a lift with?
Haha, this question is usually in Kerrang! too x] Anyhow; I guess Bush or something oO

6. Who would you most want to have a food fight with?
EASY, Jimmy!! That would be so damn fun :D Or whole Avenged for that sake.

7. What is the weirdest thing you’ve ever said to someone?
Haha, I once told a girl that my name was Jorgen. I thought I’d die of laughter XD

8. What did you do for exactly 1 month ago?
August 21. I was sleeping at this time.

9. Biggest concert (or other kind of gathering) you’ve been to?
The Iron Maiden / Avenged Sevenfold concert at Valle Hovin – Oslo. There were 30.000 ppl there.

10. If you could change your name, what would it be?
I’d not change it. I’m pleased with my name atm.

11. If you could go back in time, and redo one thing, what would it be?
I’d go back to July 24 so I could meet Avenged over again. Totally :]

12. What is the weirdest comment you’ve ever posted?
Odd. Well, I just commented a picture of Synyster Gates, and everyone that had commented had been like “sexy” “hot” ect, and here I come with “I like his pants :D”

13. What band/artist was the last one you checked out?
Um, that might have been Carpark North or Fightstar.

14. Do you still attend school? If so, which year are you in?
Yes, and I’m in my 11^th year. Just started.. college?

15. Are you excited about the future?
Nah.. not really?

16. What are you listening to right now?
Fightstar – Paint Your Target.

17. If you could make anyone you wanted the president of USA, who would it be?
Haha, um. I’d go for Jimmy there too :] Or Papa Gates :D

18. How many languages do you speak?
Norwegian, English and a bit German.. And of course, we Scandinavian understand each other languages. I know Swedish and Danish.

19. Are you against the making of animal fur in clothes?
Yeah.

20. What is your biggest skill; drawing or writing?
Writing I guess, I suck at drawing.

21. What has been the biggest surprise for you this year?
Oh, hard question oO Maybe the fact that Ylva’s dad got us VIP bracelets to the Maiden show? Idk..

22. What was the last piece of clothes you bought?
Um, I bought a blue zip up hoodie along with a t-shirt with a fancy skull on and a scarf like, last week.

23. Where do you live? And do you like the place?
I live right outside Arendal, a city south in Norway. And yes, I love it here.

24. According to your personality; are you a drummer, pianist, singer, bassist or a guitarist?
Um, I’d say a bassist or a guitarist. I play both of the instruments a lot. But, according to my personality?

25. What was the last alcoholic drink you’ve drank? And when was this?
Um, Smirnoff Ice last weekend.

26. Have you been truly honest on this quiz?
Um, yes.

I was supposed to order some stuff from Vengeance University last night, but then my dad decided not to order it for me, cause he thought is cost to much to send it, but hell, I'm paying it myself :S So now I can't get the shirts I wanted.. And now I'm mad, cause there's no one else I can ask here, and I hate the fact that I can't buy stuff online before I'm 18.. .__.

- Maria Alexandria

So, the world ends in 30 min. Haha, I won't believe it before I see it. Well, if the world ends, it means I'll miss the math and sports classes, and that is totally OK with me. :]

I miss writing totally random journals like this one

- Maria Alexandria.